Thursday, March 22, 2007



Many years ago an Irish TV company ran a programme where they would invite school children to come into the studio. Each week they would invite children from a different school and the presenter would talk to them about their school, their teachers, their family, and so on. Some kids would then, tell a story, recite a poem, or sing a song, or perform a dance, or play a musical instrument etc.
One week a young boy was telling a story to the presenter, it was about something that happened on the way home from school. He said that he was walking home from school and he saw a crowd of people gathered at the side of the road, so he went over to see what was going on. They were looking at a horse that was badly injured after falling into a large hole. The vet had been sent for and it didn’t look good, in fact the vet had to put the horse down. The presenter then asked the boy “ did the vet shoot the horse in the hole” no said the boy..... he shot him in the head.

Quote of the Day: From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx.

One day all the braves in an Indian tribe were sitting around talking. One of them was saying that he couldn’t understand how the chief decided what name each of them would be called when they were born into the tribe. Then one of the other braves said to him, the chief is sitting outside his tepee on the hill why don’t you go up and ask him. So up he went and sat down beside the chief and said “Tell me chief, when a child is born into the tribe how do you decide on what name this child will be called”.

The chief said “If I am sitting outside my tepee and I see a bear running across the prairie and a child is born into the tribe that day I will call this child Running Bear”

“Or if I am sitting outside my tepee and I see a horse running, jumping and kicking on the prairie and a child is born into the tribe that day I will call this child Crazy Horse”

“Or if I am sitting outside my tepee and I see an eagle flying over the prairie and a child is born into the tribe that day I will call this child Flying Eagle”

Then the chief turns to the brave and says “but tell me why do you ask me this question........Two Dogs F***ing”

Quote of the Day 2:
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them....... well, I have others.
Groucho Marx.


A duck waddles into a bar and hops up on the bar stool.
The barman comes over and the duck says " Have you any bread "
" No " says the barman " I've no bread"
The duck hops down off the bar stool and waddles out of the bar.
10 minutes later the duck waddles back into the bar and hops up on the bar stool.
The barman comes over and the duck says " Have you any bread"
" No " says the barman "I've told you already I have no bread"
The duck hops down off the bar stool and waddles out of the bar.
10 minutes later the duck waddles back into the bar and hops up on the bar stool.
The barman comes over (getting angry at this stage) and the duck says " Have you any bread"
" No " says the barman "I've told you twice already I have no bread and if you come back in here again and ask me that question I'll nail your f***ing beak to the bar.
The duck hops down off the bar stool and waddles out of the bar.
10 minutes later the duck waddles back into the bar and hops up on the bar stool.
The barman comes over, fuming and red with rage and the duck says ....." Have you any nails "

Quote of the Day 3:
There is no such thing as bad weather....... Just wrong clothes.
Billy Connolly

Back soon...........